there's this great pastor who lives in Pittsburgh and every once in awhile he sends me an email with something great to think about. recently, he sent me this:
scarter
i was praying for you today and this question came to mind, "what will it look like for you to finish WELL at mars?" no answer needed just a question that hopefully will challenge you.
peace
i responded with something like "thanks, another question that will haunt me." i asked if he had any advice on leaving well and he sent me this yesterday:
scarter
leaving and saying goodbye is hard. i have learned that i naturally shut off and need to be intentional about closing loops. some questions i try to answer are:
is there anyone i need to forgive? is there anyone i need to ask forgiveness from? is there anyone i need to thank? is there anyone i need to celebrate? is there anyone i need to confront?
peace.
i appreciate these kinds of questions. they're an invitation to be much more rooted, much more connected and much more healthy. finishing well is very important to me. i continue to frame this idea in what is most helpful for the church; but these questions made me realize that finishing well also must include what is helpful for me. forgiving, asking, thanking, celebrating and confronting are healthy themes that allow you to enter into this next season much more whole...
Steve,
I commend you for desiring to finish well and really wrestle with what it takes to accomplish that. Mike and I have had to do this more times that we would like to remember and with each time we have learned to do it better. Some times have been harder and more abrupt than others. Some required us to keep silent and leave with very little chance to finish well. Other times were planned, as yours is, and we were able to prepare both the church and ourselves for the transition. What we have learned most is that while we may be excited to leave for the next new thing we cannot forget to make a very deliberate effort to thank, celebrate, and mend. This time for you will be full of much packing and planning and stress that it may be a challenge to think of anything else. But it is so important to make the time. I pray that you will leave knowing that you finished well.
Thank you for all you have done to encourage us. We will be praying for you, Sarah, and Emerson. We will miss you guys.
Julia
Posted by: Julia Lamson | December 04, 2008 at 10:30 AM
yo Steve,
I saved these questions to a word file on my machine. I am about to finish seminary and I am going to pray through these before I leave. God knows there are a lot of people I've offended and have been offended by which I need to work through. Thanks for sharing that wisdom bro.
Posted by: Steve | December 06, 2008 at 07:07 PM
Steve,
I wanted to comment on this because I've read it a few times as I've thought about my time finishing at Grand valley. I want to thank you for posting it because it's served as a wake up call to me, letting me know that there are things I have to do before I leave; things like thanking and affirming people who've been there for me and dealing wiht and reconciling with people who've hurt me. I am involved in the Campus Ministry here pretty heavily and there are some things that I've tried to ignore in order to get by from one day to the next, but that I need to deal with simply because I'm a follower of Jesus and because I know that he calls us to accountability and transparency and reconciliation. I know that that's the only way I can live truly. So yea, thanks for posting this.
Posted by: Kyle Nolan | March 20, 2009 at 10:13 PM