the green room:: fight or flight.

there are two small organs above your kidneys that pump adrenaline into your bloodstream when you are engaged in a heated conversation. you don't decide this. it just happens. your adrenal glands make this decision and you end up having to live with it. then your brain begins acting like a mutual funds broker and diverting blood from activities it deems as non-essential to high priority tasks such as hitting and running. as the areas of most muscle mass in your arms and legs get more blood; the less that is available in the higher-level reasoning section of your brain making fight or flight the natural reality.

this is so fascinating to me.

everyday creates an opportunity to fight or flight. we as leaders must be aware of what our body is doing in the heat of the moment and have the handles to proceed accordingly. two ways that have helped me in these types of situations are metacommon and questions.

metacommon is an ancient practice i learned from Merrita Tumonong, a woman i deeply respect. she shared that when you discover you're in a difficult conversation, to plant your right foot firmly into the ground symbolizing a commitment to stay in the conversation. with your left, she says imagine it being outside the conversation giving you the ability to pivot your body and see the conversation from a different angle.

usually in this place, i will observe myself for a few seconds and then ask myself a couple of questions like, "what do i really want from this conversation?' and "how do i make that a reality here and now?" by slowing down and asking my brain a couple of questions, the brain begins sending blood back to parts of our minds that think and away from the parts that help us fight or flight.

when the blood is in the right place, the right things can happen. our brains no longer see this situation as a threat; but rather an opportunity to grow, to help and to serve.