it was a strange walk back. i came to the creek and decided not to step in; but tried to jump it instead. i almost made it. soaking wet i realized this was my first dad moment. you know those moments, when you think you're protecting and doing what's right; but it's just a cover, an escape for something much deeper. i don't want to be that guy. i don't want to be that kind of husband. i don't want to be that kind of father. i don't want to be that kind of man. i realized at that moment that Parker Palmer was dead on when he said, "true self, when violated, will make itself known. sometimes even at great cost until we honor it's truth."