I read this quote recently on a plane, "better to save a person with a healthy critique than destroy one with a false compliment." who do you have in your life who can evaluate you in a healthy manner?
Over the past five years, there have been a few people who have done this for me. What I love about them is that they can clearly articulate what they loved and struggled with in regards to a teaching. They fundamentally believe in me and want my gift to be a compelling force for good in the world.
Last weekend, one of these people were with me at a conference in Springfield, IL. After one of the teachings he came up and affirmed not only what I shared; but how I said it. I usually let these kinds of things just float by; but this is the same person who has many times before told me honestly when I had missed it. Because he can articulate a healthy critique with great clarity, when he shares a true compliment it really sinks in...
These kind of people are rare. They are essential if you want to maximize your gift. What they share is not always easy to hear; but if you can listen to it and strive to make the necessary adjustments your art will be much more powerful.
If you don't have these kind of people in your life please go and find them. I have approached a couple of people who I respect and given them the invitation to observe and critique my messages. When looking for people keep these things in mind:
1) they must know you - not know you exist; but actually know you. Know your mannerisms, struggles, insecurities and heart. This is crucial if you want to get healthy feedback. Two years ago, a mentor of mine pulled me aside and said, "why do you teach on your tip toes?" I had never realized I did that and he offered some insights about why he thought I might be doing that. He was spot on...
2) they must believe in your art - this is crucial. You need people who can see the potential in you and want to do what they can to see that potential realized.
3) they must be able to clearly articulate their critiques - many people are too nice for this. You need those people in your life too; but find people who you have seen in a difficult setting express well their frustrations and feelings.
4) the majority of them should have a basic understanding of what goes into preparing and delivering a message - I think this will only help you trust what they say more.
5) be diverse in who you choose - comedians, artists, worship pastors, teachers, creative directors, professors, moms, business people, mentors, key leaders, key staff members, interns and students to name a few.
The whole kingdom wins when we take ownership of our gift. Look around you and find those people who will not only save your gift but also help you develop it in a much deeper, weightier and holistic manner.
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